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ABOUT

there's no school like old school, and i'm the fuckin' headmaster.

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30 ish prelaw student. wifey for lifey. southern girl in a west coast world. and i find that i believe all yard gnomes were created equal and that cats secretly rule the world. it’s way scarier than you think, especially if you had the right childhood. when asked to define oneself exactly, i’d say i am an exact mathematician. then laugh uncontrollably. i mainly want to make stuff up, so i’m not really that good to have around children, or other people who aren’t too sure about what’s what. i only believe half of what i hear and less of what i say and all of what i write. it’s safer that way. i’m incorrigible, corruptable, and utterly comendable. i don’t have too many vices beyond caring what other people think, but that’s a big one. i want to own a llama farm. i don’t trust daniels. they are shifty uncontrollable types who shouldn’t be left to their own devices. my mental gymnastics will flip flop you like a bad mamma jamma flapjack. but you’ll like it and come back begging for more because that’s what you do.i try not to cry about everything i’ve done wrong because i don’t get enough fluids as it is. i’m in love with the sexiest man in the world… or so the porn stars tell me. but what do they know? they are naughty things who shouldn’t be left unsupervised. he was nice enough to marry me even after he saw me with my clothes on. my great confidants are my cats because they only threaten to reveal my deep dark secrets. terrible bad, he tells me. she doesn’t say anything at all.

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I spend my time cultivating guilty pleasures.